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"My name's Marty Cubic and I just haven't figured it out yet. But really, who has, you know? I mean, not everybody can know right away what they want to do in life - I don't understand how someone can make a life-altering decision at such an early age. But I moved into the apartment above my parents' garage, so I guess I'm growing up. I don't think my parents have noticed. "But I am looking for a job. I mean, I could take any job that comes along, but what if I miss a really great opportunity because I'm at work? "I'm a normal guy. What I really want in life is what everyone essentially wants. I just want somebody to love. But not just anybody actually, I've had my eye on a particular woman, the lovely Cara Carter. She's Dr. Vanderhoof's receptionist so I get to see her a few times a week, which I kind of regret telling you. I swear I'm not a paranoid whacko, I just feel that everybody thinks I am. People don't understand why I need to see a therapist that often, but really, what else do I have to do? But I do get to see Cara there and we're getting quite close. All she has to do is learn my name." QUIZ! Analyze yourself with this PERSONALITY TEST! It gives you a personalized evaluation and tips on how you can improve as a person. QUIZ! The Personality Disorder Quiz! Fun for the whole family! Click Here! (Source= 4degreez.com) NEW! (6/27) The Neurotic Test!! Take it Today! (Source= queendom.com) Click Here For Self-Help Books!

Dr. Ludvig von Vanderhoof is Marty Cubic's analyst and psychotherapist. Being a strict Freudian, Vanderhoof believes that Marty Cubic's problems stem from a lack of affection from his parents. But it isn't all science for the good doctor, but that stands to reason since Vanderhoof is also a chemist, podiatrist and a notary public! The doctor sees Marty as a paranoid, neurotic, insecure, gullible, and desperate lab rat, who he can usually coax into trying anything, making him the prime test subject for various "quick fix" potions for his myriad of problems. QUIZ! Need to visit Dr. Vanderhoof?? Click HERE to take an ANXIETY TEST!. (Source= www.med.nyu.edu) Do you think that you're the second coming of Sigmund Freud? Dr. Vanderhoof does. Click HERE to take the test. (Source= helpself.com) For books on Freud Psychology, Click HERE.
This is The Lovely Cara Carter. She's the girl that makes Marty Cubic's toes curl. Any takers for a Cara Carter swimsuit issue? What do women really mean? Beats me. But Click Here for a Woman-ese to English dictionary. What are the differences between men and women, really? Maybe you should Click Here and find out. (Source=www.dobhran.com) NEW! (6/27) Take The Fashion Test!! CLICK HERE! (Source=queendom.com)
Brad Baxter is Cara Carter's boyfriend, which makes him Marty Cubic's arch enemy - whether he knows it or not. But Marty has nothing to worry about. If you take away Brad's looks, his money,and his successs, he doesn't have anything! There's nothing quite as funny as Wall Street. Er...well, ok we take that back. Click Here for some Wall Street humor. If you think any of these are funny, please punch yourself in the face. Then e-mail me to tell me all about it. (Source=markpoyser.netfirms.com)
J.C. is Marty's tree-hugging, animal-friendly best friend from grade school. He doesn't trust Dr. Vanderhoof or his methods of therapy, so he tries to be Marty's conscience by making sure he stays out of trouble and helping him to be a better person on his own. NEW!(6/27)Take the Morality Test! CLICK HERE! ENJOY OUR BRITNEY PICS!
This is Britney Spears! She has nothing to do with Marty Cubic at all, but she's fun to look at. Enjoy!
Click on the pic below to buy Britney Spears products!	If you think you have moves like Britney, Click Here and dance along! If the sight of Britney Spears makes you want to puke, you might want to Click Here and get your revenge by throwing spears at Britney! (We here at The Official Marty Cubic Site do not endorse violence - especially against Miss Britney. However, it's better that you take out your frustrations on a game rather than the real thing.)
All "Marty Cubic" and related material Copyright 2002 Joe Caramagna unless otherwise noted.